A Smile I Miss

Vivian

Failure

Failure. Memories of it haunt. Fear of it paralyzes. The reality of it shatters.

The very meaning of the word "fail" means to be unsuccessful and broken. It hurts to feel broken. It hurts more when there is no one to blame but myself. I try to do better, but my "try" isn't enough. It is then that a sense sweeps over me of having reached the end of the road. Despair breaks some invisible dam in my soul and flash floods every part of me. I'm defeated. There is no room left to pretend. My self-confidence is stripped away. My conscience is raw like a skinned knee and my guilt is like sandpaper scrubbing at it mercilessly.

In that moment, when all I can do is cover my face and huddle in a corner, it is hard to see how any positive result could ever come from it. There wouldn't be any way out, it would truly be the end of the road, if it wasn't for an ancient promise. Thousands of years ago the Divine Ruler of the universes made an amazing promise to "give beauty for ashes."Isaiah 61:3

Ash is all that is left when something is destroyed; utterly ruined. It is the result of something not just being overcome, but consumed. It is true. When I choose to fall when I could have stood, when I deny Christ with my actions, I am nothing more than ashes on the ground. Overcome. Burned. Consumed. Where is the beauty?

This is the beauty - that God comes to the gray, powdery ashes of what was me and breathes back life. He doesn't even just restore me to my previous form, but raises me so much higher. God loves this work. Nothing brings Him more joy than to take one so spiritual defeated and raise them up to be a radiant son or daughter of the Most High.

Are you ashes? Never forget you can be made beautiful.

Are you made beautiful by grace? Never forget you were once ashes.

Daughters Eyes

This is my thoughts recently expressed with pencil lead and paper.

How tenderly our Heavenly Father looks on us! How do we look at Him?

Dad

These are my parents.

The beaming, lovely one in blue is my Mum. The dashing one with the mischievous smile is my Dad.


I always thought him very handsome despite his receding hairline and forever evolving mustache/goatee/beard combinations. In my opinion he fit the (moderately)tall, dark and handsome bill to a tee.

Deliberate, a thinker, quiet yet funny. Two of the main things I remember about him was his dry humor and belly laugh. His puns, play on words and "Far Side" way of thinking made life more fun.

He was the kind of dad that loved to dote on his kid. There wasn't much he enjoyed more than getting me my favorite treats or taking me out horseback riding, swimming etc.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'm writing about Dad because I kind of miss him right now. I miss the cool things about him that made him amazing. The "daddy-role" has been vacant for quite a few years now, but I still think of him and about dads in general. I love seeing Dad's interact with their kids. There is a special relationship there, like none other.

Dads are so important. They have incredible impact on our lives. I don't fully understand all a godly dad is to his kids, but I do know he gives a sense of protection and security. I do know he shows them a picture of God. I do know boys find a role model and girls find unconditional love.

Many don't have this because of divorce, death or the poor choices of the father himself. Many don't know what it is to have a father that loves, shelters and encourages them. Thankfully there is One who promises to be a "father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5).

If you're one of those who have never known what it means to have a father you trust and rely on, let me assure you... God is the Dad you've always wanted.

October

Hello October

I've been waiting for you.You are looking beautiful these days. Don't rush off too fast. Stay as long as you like. Lets blow on our hot apple cider together and think of great and wonderful things. You, my friend, make me especially thankful.

Hosea

Took a walk through the book of Hosea recently and found a tender love the shook me and captured my heart all over again.



He knew all she had done and still took her back, hit rewind and said "lets start over, Love...it will be just like the beginning. I was crazy about you then, I'm crazy about you now. I love you for you, not for what you have done or what you'll become."

I don't know about you, but that is a love I can rest in - blissfully.

Baked Stuffed Apple

So this may not look that great, but let me assure you it is delicious! On a whim, after putting some cinnamon raisin rolls in the oven, I decided I wanted to try baking apples.

Despite the fact I forgot them in the oven, they turn out warm and yummy! If you wish to try my experiment here is how:

First Step
Cut the core out of 4 hardy apples with a knife.
*Keep the Apples whole or else you won't be able to stuff them!

Deliciousness Inside
2 Tablespoons of peanut butter of choice
Handful of crunchy Walnuts
Chopped dandy Dates
Some dried grapes (aka. raisins)
A good squeeze of sticky Honey

Now just fill the apples with filling, set 'em on a cookie sheet (they like to roll around, they are spunky that way) and pop them in the oven at 375 - 400 F.
Check them after 15 min.

Enjoy the wafts of baking apple...Mmmmmmm